CHAPTER 82

2026-08-07

Lun has one special skill: he can drink soup using a fork, taking the tiniest sips, one after another, yet eventually finishing the whole bowl. He does not take much longer than the two of us. This has taught me something: with persistence and perseverance, things can be accomplished.

In theory, Lun has lived in a group home for more than twenty years, so I should not need to worry about his meals. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, plus two snacks in between, have been taken care of by the group home staff for many years. And he loves to eat. Generally speaking, the only thing to worry about is that he may not exercise enough restraint.

Yet every year, there are times when I notice that he has become thinner. When the change is obvious, both of us will ask the group home staff about it, and they have usually noticed it as well. At first, the reason was related to psychiatric medication, which greatly increased his appetite and caused him to gain weight. When the medication was reduced, his weight dropped.

Later, we discovered that he would occasionally go through periods of anxiety every year. Simply being in a state of tension continuously consumes physical energy. Add to that his constant pacing back and forth, especially during the summer, and he loses weight even more quickly.

In the spring, his face was pleasantly chubby, and he even had a little belly. He looked relaxed. But since mid-May, he has gradually become thinner. By now, his whole body looks quite slender. His belly has long since disappeared, and his waist is no longer enough to hold up his trousers. When he paces, he looks a little like those young men who, more than ten years ago, used to wear their trousers hanging loosely below the waist.

While Lun is in the psychiatric ward, he needs one-to-one companionship. I am responsible for being with him from 9 p.m. to 9 a.m., with an additional four hours each day on Saturdays and Sundays. My main responsibilities are helping him settle down to sleep and having breakfast with him.

Watching him eat so casually and absent-mindedly, choosing only foods he likes, and then seeing his increasingly sharp and thin face, I simply cannot let him continue being such a picky eater and become even thinner. I have time on my hands now, so I decided to step in and feed him more, so that I could feel more reassured and not worry quite so much.

By observing Lun's interactions with medical staff, I have determined that he possesses the qualities of a good citizen. His protests may be loud, but in general, his attitude is very cooperative.

When dealing with Lun, the key is patience. One cannot be impatient. Losing one's temper will trigger his panic mechanism, causing him either to avoid the situation or resist. One needs to be serious, but cannot put pressure on him from all sides. There must be room to ease off, as well as time for him to take a short rest.

The breakfast menu must include the following:

Main foods: Starchy foods such as cake and bread; protein such as eggs and sausages; and one bowl of cornflakes, oatmeal or popcorn.

Coffee or tea, with sugar and cream; one serving of two-percent-fat milk.

Yogurt, fruit purée, a mandarin or banana, and syrup, jam or honey.

I cut larger foods such as bananas, bread and eggs into small pieces. For foods that do not hold together well, I press the loose pieces into small round shapes. For dry foods in the bowl, I place small pieces at a time into my hand. For sticky foods, I feed him with a spoon. For milk, I divide it into four or five servings in a paper cup.

Throughout the process, he knows exactly what I am doing. Each time he paces back and forth in the room and comes over to me, when I judge that he is not particularly resistant, I pick up a particular food and hand it to him. He then puts it into his own mouth. Breakfast takes about thirty to forty-five minutes to finish. The more anxious he is, the faster he eats.

I have tried this many times, with basic success. Apart from the unpleasant coffee—which I drink myself—he can eat as much as 90 percent of the food on the plate. What he resists most are blueberries mixed into the yogurt and dry cereal. When eating them, he makes a low-frequency protesting sound. I have long suspected that he may have some sensitivity in the skin inside his mouth, and that what he dislikes most is food sticking to the inside of his mouth.

I can tell that he finds what I am doing rather annoying. Over the past few mornings, toward the end of breakfast, he has sometimes picked up the cup or plate himself, cut up the remaining food into small pieces, and put it into his mouth.

This morning, I noticed that Lun was more resistant than usual and was eating faster. He finished within fifteen minutes, which meant that he was more anxious than yesterday. The hospital food is of average quality, and it is understandable that he would find it monotonous after eating it for so long. I also do not dare push him too hard. One has to know when to stop while things are still going well.