CHAPTER 84

Original: 2008-11-07

Rewritten: 2026-08-13

I have brushed Lun’s teeth since he was little. Every time the dentist examines his teeth, it is essentially an assessment of how well I have been doing my job.

Lun has been living in a group home for almost three years. During that time, three of his wisdom teeth have been removed to prevent future tooth decay.

Apart from routine examinations and simple cleaning, if any of Lun’s teeth need to be repaired, surgery is required. This means general anaesthesia, so that we can ensure he will not resist during the procedure.

With such a “major operation” involving so many people and so much preparation, both of us - mainly me, of course - have to do our best to keep his teeth clean and spare him unnecessary suffering.

Like all children, once he grew teeth, the two of us cleaned them every day. At first, we wrapped something like gauze or a towel around my index finger and used it to clean his teeth. After all his teeth had grown in, we switched to a child-sized toothbrush.

From an early age, he never learned how to spit water out of his mouth, so naturally he had even less ability to do the more difficult task of rinsing his mouth. We did not think much of it at the time and were not worried, because children’s toothpaste can be swallowed.

When we learned that he was autistic, he was just four years old. Later, one of his preschool teachers referred Lun to a pediatric dental specialist. The dentist told us that even adult toothpaste would not cause harm if swallowed. In fact, brushing without toothpaste does not reduce the effectiveness of brushing, because without foam blocking our view, we could see the teeth more clearly.

From then on, we stopped using toothpaste when brushing Lun’s teeth. It worked well, and even today, as he approaches forty, I continue to do it this way.

For each brushing session, I first prepare the floor. Lun lies on a mat while I sit behind his head. He opens his mouth and looks upward, and the two of us look at each other. I use two toothbrushes and two cups, with one toothbrush in each cup - one short and one soft. The short brush is good for removing buildup, while the soft brush is suitable for massaging his gums.

The process is to brush from the outside inward, from bottom to top, and from left to right.

When switching to the soft brush, I first say, “Massage,” and then massage his gums to help stop the bleeding. Finally, I say, “Finish,” meaning the job is done. Mission accomplished. Lun puts both hands on the floor, gets up, and walks away, while I clean everything up.

After he moved into the group home, the staff taught him how to brush his own teeth. However, he is quite lazy and also rather impatient; he does not concentrate or cooperate well, and the cleaning results are far from satisfactory. He still needs assistance and supervision.

To prevent him from having to undergo surgery for dental repairs or cleaning, I make sure to brush his teeth once every time I visit him. Therefore, the frequency of tooth brushing has been directly proportional to the frequency of my visits - from three times a week in the early days, gradually decreasing to once a week later on. His teeth have remained reasonably clean.

Recently, since he was admitted to hospital, this has changed again to once a day.

For Lun, brushing his teeth has become a ritual. It is a designated activity that signals Dad has arrived, and it also means that the day’s main activities are coming to an end. Now, in the hospital ward, it means that he can go to bed, turn off the lights, and sleep.

The dentist’s examination of Lun’s dental health is essentially an evaluation of my work in brushing his teeth. If the dentist is satisfied, he will praise me to my face and instruct us to return for another check-up six months later. If anything has been overlooked, the dental mirror reveals everything; nothing can hide.

If the situation is not too bad, the dentist will clean the tartar immediately, point out where I have fallen short, and remind me to put in a little more effort. We will then return for another examination three months later. If there is tooth decay, we have to schedule a minor operation. That is a very serious punishment for me.

Although, after many years of practice, Lun has become accustomed to seeing doctors and dentists, I still remember the day of his surgery. All of us were nervous and apprehensive. At daybreak, I drove straight to the hospital and waited there. The group-home manager, Lun, and his designated caregiver arrived later. Surprisingly, he was very calm, and everything went smoothly without any trouble.

That evening, when I visited him at the group home, I saw him holding an ice pack against his face with both hands. He did not complain. Only then did both of us finally breathe a sigh of relief, marveling at how much Lun had grown and progressed over the years.