CHAPTER 90

Original: 2009-02-06

Rewritten: 2026-09-09

Lun loves singing. He sings anytime and anywhere, yet he does not allow other people to sing, especially Dad.

There is one thing about which Lun has always been very authoritarian toward me: ever since he was little, he would not allow me to sing or whistle within his hearing range. The moment he heard me, he would protest with an “oo, oo” sound. Knowing that he was unhappy, I would stop.

Humming and whistling are habits I have had since childhood. As soon as I wake up, I automatically hum a tune according to my mood. Or, if I hear a song on the radio or television that touches me, I may find myself humming or whistling it throughout the day. I learned to whistle from my father. He used to whistle while playing records.

Because old habits die hard, before long I would start humming again, and Lun would begin making his “oo, oo” protests again. Since my memory is not very good, my wife would sometimes remind me too.

Sometimes I would hum to myself for enjoyment while alone in my bedroom. Even then, if Lun heard me, he would protest. Occasionally, I would feel a little indignant. I would think, “Lun loves singing and sings whenever and wherever he wants, yet he won’t allow anyone else to sing. That doesn’t seem very fair.” But then again, Lun probably has no concept of fairness.

Children with special needs often live more instinctively than ordinary people do. Lun simply does not like hearing me sing. I know I am not a good singer, although I think my whistling is reasonably good.

Lun's younger brother also complains that my singing is awful, but he does not particularly mind my whistling. Lun, however, is even more direct than his younger brother: he does not tolerate even my whistling.

In fact, people with autism can live in a world of sensory overload. Their senses may be extremely sensitive, and they can take in an enormous amount of sensory information, to the point of becoming overwhelmed. A parent counsellor once told me about an autistic teenager who could hear the sound of his own blood flowing! Since blood flows continuously throughout the day, that boy had nowhere to escape from the sounds around him—not even within himself.

I believe that my singing and whistling sound like noise to Lun. Neither my wife nor Little One had the habit of humming, so before Lun moved into his group home, I could not be certain whether he was specifically targeting me.

After he moved into the group home, more than one staff member told me that Lun would also protest when they sang. That was when I knew he was not picking on me alone. He treated everyone equally—that was very fair of him!

Sometimes I deliberately tease him by asking whether Dad may sing. After asking him several times, he will give a soft little protest. I then pretend to sing a line. If he is in a bad mood, he will protest loudly. If he is in a good mood, he will narrow his eyes and reluctantly put up with it for a little while - giving Dad a small favour.