CHAPTER 149

2026-04-24

In Chapter 147, “Losing sight of what matters, brothers at each other's throat”, I mentioned how four unfilial siblings divided up tasks and coerced our father into going to a law firm and a bank to alter the financial power of attorney. Before that incident, there was a small episode—almost like a signal from the Creator—that gave me advance warning, easing the pressure and preparing me to resume my role as a social worker.

In early May, my father moved into a retirement residence. Adjustment took time. I visited him as usual, three times a week. Besides driving him to visit my mother, I often stayed to have meals with him during the initial period. There was only one Chinese resident originally, Mrs. Tam, a retired teacher. In early April, a Chinese couple also moved in. All of us were from Hong Kong, and we quickly became acquainted.

On a Thursday morning near the end of the month, while accompanying my father for breakfast, Mrs. Tam told me she had seen my father at the bank the previous day—with one of my brothers, a white-haired man, and a young woman.

I asked my father what it was about. He hesitated and said it was for tax matters, offering no details. I had repeatedly warned him not to sign documents casually. He had firmly replied, “How could I?!” It now seemed he was just being stubborn. I messaged my fifth brother to ask what had happened, but he did not respond. Four days later, on Monday evening after six, I received an email about a “power grab.” Its contents were appalling. My father had failed to safeguard his own interests.

A plot straight out of a movie had unfolded in my own family. Profit and power had taken precedence. What shocked me most was the stark contrast between my brothers’ behavior when they were young and now. A father who does not truly know his sons; sons harboring hidden motives.

My wife gently comforted me, saying there was still time and the outcome remained uncertain. First understand the full picture, then plan a response.

At the same time, to show that my family would not be involved in their misconduct, I did not reply to the “power grab” email. I kept all dealings strictly formal and avoided further contact. That has largely remained the case.

Once I regained my composure, my social work training “came back to life,” and I began handling the incident as follows.

The first step was to define the nature of the case. I discussed it with my fourth brother to understand the full sequence of events. It turned out that as early as when our mother began showing signs of dementia, those “unfilial” siblings had each questioned my father and fourth brother about the amount of our parents’ savings. They complained that the savings were not being managed to grow in value, and later criticized me, saying the monthly rent for my father’s retirement residence was too expensive.

Since this involved the finances and living arrangements of elderly parents, it could be classified as elder abuse. I proceeded along that line to seek assistance.

As a social worker, I have always believed that in any dispute, it is best to document early. I first wrote a detailed account of the incident: the client’s difficulties and concerns, and the concrete issues arising from it, arranged by priority. Each time I presented the case, I ensured the narrative was consistent and comprehensive, avoiding omissions, while focusing on the most critical questions.

Next, I identified relevant advisory organizations, including public agencies and voluntary groups. I contacted them by phone or online, presenting the key points concisely and seeking referrals. Each time, I recorded the main points of the conversation, along with the names, titles, and contact information of the people involved.

Once referral agencies were identified, I contacted them individually for follow-up. If the case was accepted, it would usually be assigned to a designated officer, and appointments would be arranged for further action.

Locally, elder abuse cases fall into three categories: criminal, neglect (lack of care or severe inadequacy), and financial exploitation. Criminal cases are handled by the police, such as assault or theft. Neglect cases are handled by regional health authorities, with community managers (nurses) following up through visits. Financial exploitation cases are handled by the Public Guardian and Trustee.

The advisory bodies suggested that I first visit the bank in person to determine whether any laws or procedures had been violated. They also advised contacting the family physician and a geriatric specialist to assess my father’s judgment and level of self-care, and whether he retained decision-making capacity.

The follow-up proceeded as follows:

(1) The bank confirmed that on that day they had thoroughly inquired into my father’s reasons for consenting to the change of attorney, and all procedures were properly followed.

(2) I filed a report with the Public Guardian and Trustee (PGT).

(3) A geriatric specialist confirmed that my father had dementia, but at an early stage, and still possessed the capacity to make financial decisions. Therefore, the documents he had signed were valid. The clinic would retain the documents I provided (including the date and key details of the incident), along with the current medical records, for possible future court use.

Following standard practice, the PGT formally opened a case six months later to safeguard my mother’s interests. From then on, my fifth brother would need prior approval before handling financial matters. The reasons were:

(1) At the time of the “power grab,” my mother was no longer capable of managing her finances and required protection.

(2) My fifth brother had secretly changed the financial power of attorney with my father without informing my fourth brother and me, which was suspicious. This was particularly concerning because in 2013 and 2015, the three of us brothers had each signed legal documents to jointly handle simple financial and care matters for our parents.

Looking back, despite the blow, I came to realize that life is a profound course of study. Only after weathering storms does one understand the vastness of the sea. Yet at the same time, there are guiding lights set upon the reefs, preventing us from running aground and capsizing.

Since 2019, the government has overseen my parents’ affairs, allowing me to set aside this heavy burden. Then in March, another, even larger burden fell away.